Tuesday, May 02, 2006


It's not that I haven't heard. I mean really, how could you miss the splash that "Wii" has made? The reason my blog hasn't been updated to reflect something so intimately connected to Nintendo is because I have been lost down in the bottom of a bucket of Ben & Jerrys ever since I heard the news. Wii, Wii, Wii all the way to the psychiatrist.

Don't get me wrong, I will own a Wii. I swear I will have it in my house the day it hits the market. This doesn't change the incredible hardware or the incredible gaming opportunities that the Wii will have, but I will be reserving a "Nintendo" and when I go to pick it up I will ask for "my new Nintendo" console. And I will buy two, so that I can melt one down into a miniature urinal will real flushing action.

Now there is a movement out there. Basically a group of Nintendites who are in system shock over this announcement. They say that the name "Wii" has not been reserved or trademarked in America or Japan and on average it takes 25 months or so to pend a trademark. I must admit, I have a darker side to me, a side that reminds everyone why the word "fan" is short for "fanatic". This darker side says "Yes fool! How could you believe that NINTENDO could stick with a name so ridiculous as "Wii"? Now swear to me your firstborn and I will raise him as my own!" And the angel on my other shoulder is saying "Please don't kill anyone! How could they know that everyone would hate it?" By a tiny little bit of what we like to call RESEARCH that's how. Holy crap. I don't know if I subscribe to this theory, but I would LIKE to.

Realistically though, I read something where a guy compared this to Winnie the Pooh. Despite all the poo related jokes about Pooh when you hear about Winnie the Pooh it's not like you think of the rocket you built a minute ago. In a similair manner I fully expect Wii to rise above it's name and dominate. It just shouldn't have to.

From a different perspective maybe Nintendo KNEW that Wii would be pretty much hated the way people hate satan, which is why they let us know a week and a half before E3 so that Wii don't rain on their parade. Now we all get a chance to think and stew and grow up past the retarded jokes and start associating the word "Wii" with the word "we" like it should be. Also, IF stereoscopic vision were coming back with the Wii the double 'i's would be a clever sort of hint wouldn't they?

In short, I am officially renaming the Nintendo Wii to "Revowutiion" (pronounced as if you were Elmer Fudd, heh heh heh heh.) It's not quite as silly and doesn't make me want to kill myself.


Anonymous angry Tim said...

I feel sorry for old Brucie. I know what you mean. I would really like Nintendo to stick with revolution. Well such is life, things are going good for once then BOOM you get hit by a mac truck and your brains are splattered all over the highway!!!!!

May 03, 2006 4:18 PM  

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